It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
