Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
