I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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