That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
