i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
