We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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