cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
