You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
