): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
