Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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