we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
