but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I've blown a few things in my day
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
