Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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