Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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