don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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