I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
third nipple confirmed
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
