I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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