living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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