Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
why is half of my head shaved?
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