you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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