No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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