Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
