Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
worst night to have a conscience
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
