oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
