I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
And then he peed in my hair
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