I wish my penis had an off switch
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
