their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
