It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
