i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize