there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
