She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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