You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize