Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
