I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize