there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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