It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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