So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My feet surprised me
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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