4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I intend to get homeless drunk
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Randomize
