this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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