seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
