Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
