Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
