I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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