Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
