i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
