I wish I only lived at night.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
