i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
