The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
