Quick, to the slutcave!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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