Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
