pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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