I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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