oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
