never play flip cup with pint glasses
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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