his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He kissed a someone with a penis
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize