Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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