dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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