JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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