there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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