I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
