I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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